yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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