Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
