went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize