I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
