Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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