I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
