hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
