hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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