She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
