i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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