That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Terrible idea I love it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
