I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
