I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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