there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
