How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
