While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize