Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
