I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
