Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
