VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
