You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
