just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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