So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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