awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
