A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
