I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
not ubering you a puppy
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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