everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize