I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
