You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize