wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
