i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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