Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
