My first STD was from a foam party
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
