Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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