Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
