What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
