I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize