You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
