its not stalking. its research.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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