I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm at about main and main street
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
