I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
