i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
