I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
