who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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