and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
