Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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