I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
no, he came in my armpit
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
