Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
