Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
