so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
