I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
