I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
