Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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