apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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