His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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