Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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