Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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