The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
