So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
