Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
