No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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