I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
my being single is dangerous.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
