he wants to bone in the snuggie
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
