It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
