I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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