at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
