i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
