I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
