I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize