you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
