im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
