Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize