I molested 6 butterflies tonight
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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