my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
