A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
