Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
do herpes really smell.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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